A big day

Wow. It's been a while (since my last blog). I woke up at 3:00am this morning and couldn't go back to sleep. Maybe it's just an old-person thing, or maybe it was the Chinese takeout from last night. Or maybe it's that I'm excited and apprehensive about this upcoming day. My oldest son turned 16 this weekend and today I'm taking him to test for his drivers license. I guess that is at least one source of the excitment I feel. I am excited and so proud that this new season in his life is opening up to and for him (and me!). I have no doubt that he will pass. And if he doesn't today, he will soon, d.v. My apprehension doesn't have to do with that at all. My apprehension has to do with my meditations as I lay there the last hour and a half. Where has the time gone? Why has it gone so fast? Why haven't I invested more of it in him? Have I prepared him well for this next season in his life? What could I have done better, that I can improve upon with the next two kids as they grow? How can I help him best now? How do I learn to begin the process of sending him out from under my fatherly covering and encouraging him to be his own man? I have failed and continue to fail so miserably in all these areas where I have apprehension. But all my apprehension disappears when I run back to Jesus and all God's promises in him - for they are YES. As I laid there this morning meditating on all this, the following story came to mind from John 21... Just as day was breaking, Jesus stood on the shore; yet the disciples did not know that it was Jesus. Jesus said to them, “Children, do you have any fish?” They answered him, “No.” He said to them, “Cast the net on the right side of the boat, and you will find some.” So they cast it, and now they were not able to haul it in, because of the quantity of fish. That disciple whom Jesus loved therefore said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” When Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on his outer garment, for he was stripped for work, and threw himself into the sea. Thank you Lord Jesus for being kind to me and gentle with me like you were with Peter that morning. Please Lord, continue to surround me and my children with folks that point out that it is you that is right there in front of us, and please give me and give my children hearts that run after you like Peter when we see you.